How to NOT buy a house in 15 painful, costly steps

buying a house is not all it's cracked up to be.  I submit:

1. Finally found a house and neighborhood that I loved
2. Put in offer, after some argument with Realtor about how much to offer.
3. Seller "countered" at full price.  This should have been my first clue that he is an asshole.  Realtor said this was a good offer.
4. I insist that he replace non functioning AC and broken heat, and replace the roof (which he should have done first thing when he decided to flip the damn house.)
5. He only replaces 1/2 of the AC, and the condensate line is leaking into the back bedroom.
6. A few roofers attempt to strip the roof, but the guy who's doing it keeps changing. (I'm overseas when this begins).
7. Still havent gotten a property disclosure, and Dad calls the city to see what permits have been taken out.  Turns out, NO permits have been taken out. (i'm still overseas.)
8. Seller is PISSED that we "called the city on him".  roofing delayed for 2 days while a) he gets a new roofer (his friend quit) b) he gets the permits he should have had all along c) we ask if we can get a shingle with some kind of warranty instead of an economy shingle (as SHOULD have been mentioned in the contract, but Realtor told me I couldn't specify what kind of roof.)
9. Who the hell is roofing this house now?  And, I need you to FIX the LEAKY line, and I'm VERY displeased that you cheaped out on the AC and I will have to spend 1,000 bucks to fix your "fix" after I move in.
10. Days go by, and I watch the progress of the roof.  At one point it's stripped bare and no one is around. It's left uncovered.  And then it rains. A lot.
11. Finally a new roofer arrives, rips off what the last guy did and starts over.  According to Dad, he was doing it correctly.  FINALLY, thank GOD.  But, what shingles are those?  They're different than the first set that was on there... At the same time, I am still arguing with Seller about AC, to which he replies "no more repairs, but I'll give you $500 off the price of the house."
12. I start looking at other houses, because I'm just unsure about what's going on with this one.  While doing so, I drive by to show it to Niki.  The door is open.  We go in.  there are water stains all over the ceiling in every room of the house.  There is water running down the walls in the living room. 
13. I send in a termination, requesting my Earenst Money back.  Seller responds with No, that's my money, you didn't give me time to do the repairs.
14. We're going to small claims court in a few months to argue it out.  Clearly, he cannot win, but court fees will suck up $100 of the earnest money, no matter who wins.
15. Now to talk to the bank about putting closing costs on my mortgage, as I just sank $1,100 into a house that I will not be buying, and I'm a little short on funds for purchasing a different house.